What if... I want to homeschool my kids but I'm afraid and don't know where to start?
Part 3 of 4
Make a Connection
In one of the early episodes of the OnlySchoolers podcast, we talked about the importance of finding your people. And as much as homeschooling is about doing your own thing and making your own rules, making connections is important on a lot of levels, both for you and your children.
Parents and Kids Together
We talk about it all the time on the podcast, but the most important connection to make when it comes to homeschooling is the connection between parents and their kids.
Homeschooling is about building a relationship with one another.
If your kids were never been enrolled in a traditional school, you won’t necessarily have to unlearn those “box school” habits, but, speaking as parents who were a product of public schools, there were still plenty of habits we carried with us into homeschooling.
If your kids were enrolled in a traditional school, consider a period of serious down time before you get started on your homeschooling journey, spend that time really getting to know each other. Pay attention to your kids and they way they approach each day, then maybe go back and tweek that schedule.
And should you ever feel like your homeschool is turning a bit sideways, drop the schoolwork and refocus on the relationship connection between you and your kids. Because no curriculum, no lesson, no test score will ever be more important than the relationship you have with your children.
Focus on connection first, last, and always and things will almost always turn out.
Parents Helping Parents
From a parenting point of view, connecting with a homeschool group (or groups!) provides you with a community of support and encouragement.
There will be times when you simply don’t know what to do, but we can almost guarantee —regardless of what you are dealing with — there will someone in your homeschool community who has gone through something similar.
Homeschooling with a new baby in the house?
Homeschooling an only because the older kids graduated?
Homeschooling through the death of a spouse or grandparent?
Homeschooling through divorce?
Homeschooling after a tornado or house fire?
Homeschooling through an unexpected job loss?
Homeschooling a special needs child?
We know people who have have homeschooled through every single one of those things—including the bit about the tornado! In fact, one of our homeschool mom friends lived through the devastating Joplin tornado in 2011, moved to Jefferson City, and lived through that one, too.
That community can also exist online in the form of social media groups. We hope you’ll follow our OnlySchoolers Facebook page and join our OnlySchoolers Teachers Lounge. And you will also find a homeschooling community in the real-world interactions you will have with other parents and children.
But when you find a community, you’ll find people who have been there and done that.
Kids Finding Friends
When you announce your intention to homeschool, you will inevitably find someone who will ask you the question all homeschoolers get at some point in their homeschooling journey: What about socialization? How will they have friends?
For most homeschool families it’s a non-issue. As we’ve often said on the podcast, it would be more appropriate to call us all “Not At Home Schoolers” than “Homeschoolers.”
Our kids are connected, and they have friends. But those connections aren’t the result of magic; you do have to work to create those connections.
Joining a homeschool group makes it easier for your kids will find friends and play groups. Becoming involved in other activities like 4-H, Scouts, American Heritage Girl, community theatre, or musical groups is another way to establish those friend connections.
As kids in public school, we were in the same public school systems our whole lives. We each graduated high school with kids we’ve known since kindergarten. Within the homeschool community the same thing happens. Our kids have friends they’re known since they were itty bitty and first attending activities, and they’ve picked up new friends along the way.
One interesting thing about homeschooled kids is this: more than traditionally schooled kids, homeschoolers don’t emphasize age as a prerequisite for friendships. Our kids have close friendships with kids who are older than they are, younger than they are, and the same age they are.
And, while there are still cliques and sub-groups within the group, in our experience, homeschool kids tend to be more accepting of all sorts of kids.
Happy Homeschooling!